Posts Tagged ‘youth’

EVERY YOUNG MAN’S BATTLE: STRATEGIES FOR VICTORY IN THE REAL WORLD OF SEXUAL TEMPTATION
STEPHEN ARTERBURN, FRED STOEKER AND MIKE YORKEY

What a friend taught me:

I’d heard nothing about this practice before then. My parents never talked about sex, and my two older brothers never told me about it either. I’d never had an orgasm and had no idea what one was, but my buddy seemed to know everything. I remember the night very well.

He said all I had to do was reach inside my pants and rub my penis up and down. If I kept doing that, it would feel even better and better, and then some stuff would come out, and when that happen, it would feel really good. But first I had to get my penis hard to get things started.

When you learned to masturbate, you didn’t learn to commit the unpardonable sin.

No matter how spiritually strong you start out, a life of pornography, masturbation, pre-marital foreplay, and intercourse will weaken you and leave you distant from God.

Is masturbation a sin?
If it is, why can’t I stop it?
If it isn’t, why do I feel so guilty?

Let’s get right to it, first things first. Masturbation isn’t address in the Bible, so there’s no direct, definite scripture that says the practice is right or wrong. In other words, the issue of masturbation won’t be as cut and dried as say, adultery. But the fact that adultery is a sin helps us out a great deal in defining almost all marital masturbation as sin. Jesus said:

I tell you that anyone who looks at woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28)

If Jesus defines simply looking lustfully at a woman as adultery for the married man, certainly looking at a woman and masturbating is adultery. But what about you single guys? While the Bible is unclear about masturbation, this same scripture makes a similarly strong case against lustful looks in single men. If looking lustfully at a woman is the same as going to bed with her for married guys, looking lustfully at a woman is the same as going to bed with her for single guys. We don’t see much difference.

Some make a case that isolated instances of masturbation to relieve sexual tension are okay, if you’re married and focusing on your wife, not some supermodel, during periods of separation or illness.

Looking at it from another direction, is masturbation the only way to release sexual tension? There may be purer ways. We need to discuss all these questions.

I feel most comfortable simply calling masturbation a “sin” because its effects are exactly like the effects of any other sin in a man’s life. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it likely is a duck:

*Habitual masturbation consistently creates a distance from God.

*Jesus said that lusting after women in your heart is the same as doing it. Since most masturbation involves a lustful fantasy or pornography, we’re certain that nearly all circumstances violate Scripture.

*The pornography and fantasy that surround masturbation change the way we view women. How can that be right?

*Habitual masturbation is hard to stop. If you don’t believe it, wait till you get married and try to quit masturbating.

*Masturbation is progressive. You’re more likely to masturbate the day after you masturbate than you’re likely to do it the day after you didn’t. In other words, the pleasurable chemical reactions draw you to repeat the practice more and more. This is bondage, and God hates bondage in His sons.

Masturbation is not rare, and most have tried it at some point. They just don’t admit it or talk about it.

When they (men) go without masturbating for a month, they feel so clean and good about themselves.

“Pond the sin and shame aspect too hard, and his insecurity problems get only stronger.”

Self-condemnation only sets the cycle of masturbation into a downward spiral, causing deeper embarrassment and humiliation.

The desire to become close to somebody can also drive you quickly into the arms of women or one-sided friendships. Rather than turn to God, you truly can begin looking for love in all the wrong places, hoping for something, anything, to take that place of that loss.

For these guys, masturbation makes them feel good and takes away the loneliness–for a moment.

If you masturbate to fix your feeling of insecurity and isolation, then the masturbation just adds to your loneliness because you’re not receiving true intimacy when you do the act.

This is why many young men fighting for sexual purity seek support in a men’s Bible study group or a smaller accountability group with one or two other men. Having a safe place to discuss this tough issue often results in an honest exchange, although getting there can be awkward. (Another drawback of being a male is that we don’t verbalize our feelings very well.)

This should be a male friend, perhaps someone older and well respected in the church, a person who can encourage you in the heat of the battle.

As your intimacy with God grows , you’ll need less of that false intimacy. You’ll find Him to be your best accountability partner.

What helps bring true intimacy with God quickly? Worship. We were created to worship. Worship and praise brings intimacy with the Lord and ushers us quickly into His presence.

We can change our views and legalize them, therefore removing the shame.  But they’ll still ensnare us in addictive, binding cycles that isolate us in despair.

Men are sexual beings. Women are emotional beings.

For most young men, it’s a major victory to come to the point of asking for help. HAVE YOU DONE THAT YET?

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“What do “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas teach televiewers, especially teenagers?”

First thing, hindi ako si Antonietta from Bubble Gang.  Ako si Joshua Canlas and nobody’s Joshua Canlas, ako lang.  Second thing, I have my own style. You won’t hear me na gumagamit ng mga katagang, “Nangyayari bay an sa totoong buhay, Amnesia?” at “Pinapaniwala niyo ang mga televiewers na…” Tsaka masyadong mataray si Antonietta. May puso parin naman ako.

Let’s go down to the business. In this article, we shall list down some of the “perceived” negative things teenagers can learn from “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas. I just coined that term. Let us begin listing down:

1. Suwayin ang mga magulang ng dahil sa infatuation or immature love.

“Ma, nagmamahalan kami. Hindi ko gusting masaktan ka, pero kung hindi mo siya matanggap, wala akong ibang magagawa kundi ang suwayin ka.”

2. Matutong maglayas at subukang magpaka-independent ng dahil din sa immature love na iyon.

“Patawarin mo ako, Pa. Pero kung hindi mo kayang tanggapin ang relasyon nami, I guess I have no other option but to leave this family.”

“Kahit ano’ng trabaho gagawin ko kumita lang.”

3. Commonly, “kiss-and-tell” ang mga teenage-lovers. Pero iba ang tinuturo ng telenovelas, “TELL-AND-KISS.” How?

“Mahal kita. Sana mahal mo rin ako.”

“Oo, mahal din kita.”

Next scene:

Dahan-dahang maglalapit ang mga mukha, and guess what, magdidikit ang mga labi.

MOMENT NAMIN TOH!!! Kissing-kissing…

4. Telenovelas introduce the idea of “Survival of the Flirtest” (and maybe also the fittest).

Ayoko na mag-quote ng mga lines na ginagamit sa mga telenovelas. The Borrowed Wife, The Temptation of Wife, The Legal Wife, My Neighbor’s Wife (basta lahat ng may WIFE, kahit hindi teen-themed you mga iyan, same effect lang din).  May isa pa, My Husband’s Lover.

😛

Basically, the objective is to win over the wife or the husband of the other person. Agawan, kabitan, pasikatan, pagandahan, paseksihan, pamachuhan. Iyun na nga yun. Ano? Explain ko pa? Wag na.

5. Fornication (k.dot)

6. Bestfriend of the bida is always left behind, often neglected.  Friendzoned lagi, kumbaga.  Oo nga, friendzoned. Hanggang doon lang! Ano? Kumbinsido ka na?

“May tatanggap pa kaya sakin maliban sa kanya?  Kung magkakahiwalay kami, mag-isa na lang ulit ako.”

“Hindi ka naman talaga nag-iisa eh. Makakahanap ka parin ng lalake (o babae) na kaya kang tanggapin at handa kang mahalin.”

“Tanggapin, oo. Pero ang mahalin, Malabo yata yun.”

“Malay mo nandyan lang yung taong nakatakda pa sa’yo. Ayaw mo lang bigyan ng pagkakataon.”

“Siguro nga… Ahh sige, mauna na ko.”

-_-

(ano’ng ka-kornihan toh?)

7. Initially, friendzoned si bestfriend. In the end, friendzoned pa rin.  

Mukhang ayaw talaga ng mga writers na magkatuluyan si bestfriend at si bida ah.  Si bida, lagi napupunta sa bagong kakilala lang at never kay bestfriend na matagal ng kakilala. Ano ba yan?  (so ano ba talagang pinaglalaban ko?)

8.  Betrayal or pagtataksil. Pagkasira ng friendship.

“Akala ko ba bestfriend tayo? Hindi ko alam na pati pala sa boyfriend ko, gusto mong makihati.”

“Pare naman, pati ba naman girlfriend ko? Hindi ka pa ba masaya sa meron ka?”

9. Pagpapaka-martir. I shall call this “Kagome-Syndrome.”

“Alam kong hindi ako ang gusto mo. Tanggap ko yun. Ang mahalaga sakin ay Makita kang nakangiti. Yung lagi kang masaya. Kaya mananatili lang ako sa tabi mo.  Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang kaya kong ibigay sa’yo, pero handa ako.”

-Kagome to InuYasha

Well, I quoted that from an anime scene. Pero maraming telenovelas ang gumagamit ng ganyang script.

Syado eksena ni Kagome, nabasted na nga, na-friendzoned pa.  At hanep, hindi pa nakuntento, trip pang magpaka-martir.  Pakibatukan nga yung kaibigan mong may ganitong sakit, “Kagome-Syndrome.”

Iyan ang ilang sa mga medyo negative things na maaaring matutunan ng mga teenagers sa “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas.  Ayoko na magpakahaba pa ng aking speech. Basta, let us be aware na lang.  It’s okay to be entertained by watching those telenovelas.  Pero yung sobra kang maapektuhan at isabuhay na yung mga napapanood mo, na-a-ah, that’s totally wrong.  Mali. Wrong. Hindi mainam. Not good.

Napaka-antagonistic ko naman kung puro sa negative things ako naka-focus. Next time, we shall list down some of the things we, teenagers, can learn from those, as I coined, “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas.

I would like to thank my supporters out of nowhere.  Kung sinuman kayo at nasan man kayo, just stay there. I mean, keep on supporting me.

For any possible responses, ode magkoment kayo o kaya i-message niyo ko. Tss…

-_-

The Youth Summit: Breakthrough Generation
San Juan Arena
December 27-28,2007

Day 1

Speaker: Rev. Joey Crisostomo
Title: Understanding the Fear of the Lord
Text: Deuteronomy 10:12, Joshua 24:14, 1 Peter 2:17

“And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God ask of you but to fear the Lord your God,                                                                                                   to walk in obedience to him,  to love him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul.”

I. Kinds of Fear of God

1. Superstition
– fruit of ignorance
2. Servile
– appreciation of punishment
3. Health
– which has its spring in love and prompts to come act to affect God

II. Fear of the Lord
– a godly emotion, feeling of reverence, of awe and of respect toward the Almighty

1. Being afraid of displeasing God
– Job 1:5, Genesis 39:9

When a period of feasting had run its course, Job would make arrangements for them to be purified. Early in the morning he would sacrifice a burnt offering for each of them, thinking, “Perhaps my children have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” This was Job’s regular custom.

2. Reverential awe of God

3. Deep and healthy respect for His character and holiness
– Fear of the Lord enjoined
> What does the Lord your God require you to fear about the Lord?
– Fear of the Lord is needed
> in good government, 2 Samuel 23:3
> in administration of justice, 2 Chronicles 19:6-10
> in serving God, Psalm 2:11
> in worshiping God, Psalm 89:7
> in living circumspectly, 2 Corinthians 7:1

III. The Fear of the Lord Described

1. It is an awesome reverence of His presence
– Exodus 34:8
2. It is clean
– Psalm 19:9
3. It is a hatred of evil
– Proverbs 8:13
4. It is wisdom
– Psalm 110:10
5. It is obedience at any cost to what God wants
– Genesis 22:12
6. It is a dedicated respect for the things of God
– Nehemiah 1:4

IV. The Fear of the Lord Obtained

1. Confess our lack of the fear of the Lord
2. Make a study of the fear of the Lord from the Word of God
–  Deuteronomy 4:10a
3. Make it a choice with our will
– Proverbs 1:29
4. Cry out to God to give us fear of the Lord
– Psalm 86:11
5. Have a proper and fresh understanding of God’s holiness
– 2 Kings 8:5
6. Know its positive results. It brings blessings, answered prayers, pleasure to God, etch.
7. Remember that it is produced in the soul by the Holy Spirit
– Acts 2:43

I wrote this one last year, February 11, 2012. I was just browsing through the pages of my old notebook then I found this. I wrote this when I was experiencing my emotional low or being down sloped. I’m okay now. I’m totally blessed actually. I guess, it is not too late to share this one. God bless us!

“You’re Singing the Wrong Anthem Again!”

Oh boy! I guess I am singing the wrong anthem again. What wrong anthem? I’m not on a flag ceremony. So what’s the use for to think that I am singing the wrong anthem?

Wrong anthem is when you are being off the beat in singing praises and thanksgiving to the Lord. You think you’re still on the melody but then in reality, you’re already not. You think you are still giving your best to the Lord everything you have in terms of physical worship, but when you take a deeper look, your heart is just empty. You think, everything’s already enough. The music inside of you is monotonous. Simply stagnant.

That is somehow a difficult situation. Letting people know that you’re okay and still on track but the truth is, you are seriously broken, wounded, thoughtless, pretending. Those things will surely affect the way you worship the Lord our God. People see you smile and always giving your best to the Lord with the ministry you are called at, but deep inside, something’s wrong.

You are calling on to God for help but it seems you’re unsatisfied. It seems you’re unanswered. You know that there will be answers for your prayers but knowing isn’t enough. You are longing for affirmations, for confirmations. You know what to do. You know what to say. You know what to think. But applying them? Difficult. You’ve reached your limitations. You’ve burnt out. Then what do you need? Second the motions?
“Go for it. I believe in you.”
“Go for it.”
“I second the motions!”
C’mon! I don’t need second the motions. I need real and sincere encouragements. I need a lot of them.

That’s it! I’m humming and humming my needs as if nobody hears me. But then I realized, “I’m singing the wrong anthem that’s why I should stop it. I just need to be still and be amazed by the fact that God hears the cry of my heart. He hears the cry of the broken.”

“Psalm of a Creation”
(January 20, 2013)

The psalm of my heart is to hear Your voice
In my desperation, I choose to trust You
To love You is a feeling incomp’rable
Sadness comes, but my joy is found in You

Amazing to think, as I open my eyes
Miracles are done, angels sing praises
I move toward You, to know You, my King
Every detail of me, I owe to You

In my weakness and poorness, be glorified
Let my nothingness confess Your power
Let me serve my purpose, to proclaim Your Name
To share the Good News to every lost soul

You, O God, exist to proclaim your glory
Your holiness, it brings us to our knees
I am created because of Your mercy
Your grace is enough, it keeps me breathing

To suffer is to experience Your goodness
To mourn is to be glad by Your comfort
I am secured for You’re guiding me always
With my whole being, I will praise you, Lord

Words aren’t enough, You’re indescribable
I will join with Your creation, they’ll sing
Hallelujah! To You, O Majesty
My life be surrendered to You, Lord of hosts

“Trapped”
(January 18, 2013)

I’m afraid of everything
Everything that is so true
So serene, so calm, secrets
Truest of me? It’s unreal!

Thoughts are floating in the air
Feelings are hidden deeply
Actions, they’re always controlled
Limited! Chained by motions.

You’re talking, words just fall down
Just as the air, you’re moving
You’re felt, yet nobody cares
Desperate sounds, no one hears.

Here we are, hear the unvoiced
Young people under pressure
Oh, listen! We are lighted
Yet darkness is upon us.

Darkness, gloom, chaos, free us
Our hearts, broken and shackled
Sep’rated from the real world
Lives with unclear purposes.

Pretension! Life’s a big stage
We laugh, we cry, we get mad
Battling everyone for fame
Competing for attention.

A life cycle of drama
It’s time, we need to end this
Compassion, rise up, be freed
Save the earth, rescue yourself.

Yes! We’re trapped to prepare us
For a fight, yet to unfold
We’re trapped by wrong emotions
Trapped by unsettled motives.

O, my friend! Be freed, be freed.

———————————————-

I’m still working on. I’m not yet so good on writing poems but I’m still working on it. You know, the old saying goes like, “Practice makes perfect.” I’m now interested on it. It’s something different. So, here is my second one. I hope it would sound a lot better and more dramatic than the first one. I love to hear your comments. Criticize it, please!

Naah!  What does it look like if I would write a poem?  How will people react?  I’m not good at writing poems.  I only write essays and short stories.  Other than those, none.  But then I have to.  Our teacher in Literary Criticism told us to submit our own poems then we’ll criticize them.  Oh boy!  What will I write?  Actually, I’ve already written one and I hope it would sound good.  I have no idea about it.  I hope it looks like a real poem, or not!  (I know, it’s amateur) Naah!  I don’t care.  At least I would submit something.  So here it goes.  I want you, guys, to be the first one to read and criticize.  Leave your comments and suggestions below.  PLEASE!  I would be needing them.

——————–

“THE SENSIBILITY”
(August 18, 2011)

Imagination
Fill with emotion
Full of action
And desperation

So classic
Stylistic
Fantastic
Magnific

Too much drama
Just count the babba
To skip reality
Sleep tightly

Sense the ironic
Situation
Life with ballistic
Perception

Imagination
Your own habitation
World defined your own
So alone…

——————

There you have it. My first poem ever. I hope it would not be the last. Does it make sense? You know, your sensibility. Does it have any message? I would love to hear your comments and suggestions. They would really help. Just leave them below. Chow.
(The idea and the background behind the poem, to follow…)