Posts Tagged ‘funny’

“What do “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas teach televiewers, especially teenagers?”

First thing, hindi ako si Antonietta from Bubble Gang.  Ako si Joshua Canlas and nobody’s Joshua Canlas, ako lang.  Second thing, I have my own style. You won’t hear me na gumagamit ng mga katagang, “Nangyayari bay an sa totoong buhay, Amnesia?” at “Pinapaniwala niyo ang mga televiewers na…” Tsaka masyadong mataray si Antonietta. May puso parin naman ako.

Let’s go down to the business. In this article, we shall list down some of the “perceived” negative things teenagers can learn from “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas. I just coined that term. Let us begin listing down:

1. Suwayin ang mga magulang ng dahil sa infatuation or immature love.

“Ma, nagmamahalan kami. Hindi ko gusting masaktan ka, pero kung hindi mo siya matanggap, wala akong ibang magagawa kundi ang suwayin ka.”

2. Matutong maglayas at subukang magpaka-independent ng dahil din sa immature love na iyon.

“Patawarin mo ako, Pa. Pero kung hindi mo kayang tanggapin ang relasyon nami, I guess I have no other option but to leave this family.”

“Kahit ano’ng trabaho gagawin ko kumita lang.”

3. Commonly, “kiss-and-tell” ang mga teenage-lovers. Pero iba ang tinuturo ng telenovelas, “TELL-AND-KISS.” How?

“Mahal kita. Sana mahal mo rin ako.”

“Oo, mahal din kita.”

Next scene:

Dahan-dahang maglalapit ang mga mukha, and guess what, magdidikit ang mga labi.

MOMENT NAMIN TOH!!! Kissing-kissing…

4. Telenovelas introduce the idea of “Survival of the Flirtest” (and maybe also the fittest).

Ayoko na mag-quote ng mga lines na ginagamit sa mga telenovelas. The Borrowed Wife, The Temptation of Wife, The Legal Wife, My Neighbor’s Wife (basta lahat ng may WIFE, kahit hindi teen-themed you mga iyan, same effect lang din).  May isa pa, My Husband’s Lover.

😛

Basically, the objective is to win over the wife or the husband of the other person. Agawan, kabitan, pasikatan, pagandahan, paseksihan, pamachuhan. Iyun na nga yun. Ano? Explain ko pa? Wag na.

5. Fornication (k.dot)

6. Bestfriend of the bida is always left behind, often neglected.  Friendzoned lagi, kumbaga.  Oo nga, friendzoned. Hanggang doon lang! Ano? Kumbinsido ka na?

“May tatanggap pa kaya sakin maliban sa kanya?  Kung magkakahiwalay kami, mag-isa na lang ulit ako.”

“Hindi ka naman talaga nag-iisa eh. Makakahanap ka parin ng lalake (o babae) na kaya kang tanggapin at handa kang mahalin.”

“Tanggapin, oo. Pero ang mahalin, Malabo yata yun.”

“Malay mo nandyan lang yung taong nakatakda pa sa’yo. Ayaw mo lang bigyan ng pagkakataon.”

“Siguro nga… Ahh sige, mauna na ko.”

-_-

(ano’ng ka-kornihan toh?)

7. Initially, friendzoned si bestfriend. In the end, friendzoned pa rin.  

Mukhang ayaw talaga ng mga writers na magkatuluyan si bestfriend at si bida ah.  Si bida, lagi napupunta sa bagong kakilala lang at never kay bestfriend na matagal ng kakilala. Ano ba yan?  (so ano ba talagang pinaglalaban ko?)

8.  Betrayal or pagtataksil. Pagkasira ng friendship.

“Akala ko ba bestfriend tayo? Hindi ko alam na pati pala sa boyfriend ko, gusto mong makihati.”

“Pare naman, pati ba naman girlfriend ko? Hindi ka pa ba masaya sa meron ka?”

9. Pagpapaka-martir. I shall call this “Kagome-Syndrome.”

“Alam kong hindi ako ang gusto mo. Tanggap ko yun. Ang mahalaga sakin ay Makita kang nakangiti. Yung lagi kang masaya. Kaya mananatili lang ako sa tabi mo.  Hindi ko alam kung ano pa ang kaya kong ibigay sa’yo, pero handa ako.”

-Kagome to InuYasha

Well, I quoted that from an anime scene. Pero maraming telenovelas ang gumagamit ng ganyang script.

Syado eksena ni Kagome, nabasted na nga, na-friendzoned pa.  At hanep, hindi pa nakuntento, trip pang magpaka-martir.  Pakibatukan nga yung kaibigan mong may ganitong sakit, “Kagome-Syndrome.”

Iyan ang ilang sa mga medyo negative things na maaaring matutunan ng mga teenagers sa “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas.  Ayoko na magpakahaba pa ng aking speech. Basta, let us be aware na lang.  It’s okay to be entertained by watching those telenovelas.  Pero yung sobra kang maapektuhan at isabuhay na yung mga napapanood mo, na-a-ah, that’s totally wrong.  Mali. Wrong. Hindi mainam. Not good.

Napaka-antagonistic ko naman kung puro sa negative things ako naka-focus. Next time, we shall list down some of the things we, teenagers, can learn from those, as I coined, “teenage-lovestory-themed” telenovelas.

I would like to thank my supporters out of nowhere.  Kung sinuman kayo at nasan man kayo, just stay there. I mean, keep on supporting me.

For any possible responses, ode magkoment kayo o kaya i-message niyo ko. Tss…

-_-

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”Ways on How To Become an Honor Student, The Twisted Way!”

Hahaha! This is so crazy. As in, TWISTED again. I’ve graduated from high school with academic awards. I was really expecting for those awards because I worked hard for them. C’mon, it is not being “mayabang” (arrogant or boastful), I am just so proud with my achievements. I know, there are still more people who are far better than me (Well, I don’t care about that!).

High school is just a small place. I am now preparing myself to venture to a new journey. COLLEGE. Hayzt! I am going to love college because I know that it will offer me more challenging situations, hideous and mind-boggling problems. College will make you more responsible, competent and smart student (Does it still matter? Why am I talking in that manner? I don’t know!). I am here, just waiting for that time to come. FIRST DAY OF COLLEGE. At high school, I graduated with honors. At college, I will be a dean’s lister (there is nothing bad with dreaming, especially if you know that you can achieve those dreams). Haha!

Going back with my main topic. How did I become an honor student (at high school)? Well, let us start by reminiscing the past. When I was at my 1st and 2nd year of high school, I was not fond of studying. I was graduating from one level to another without having any award. Here’s the weird thing, I really don’t know on how I graduated with those levels because I know that I didn’t study well. I got failing grades, I admit it. That’s why I am wondering. Well, so much for reminiscing the past.

Here are some tips to become an honor student (The Twisted way!):

1) Be good with your teachers even if you don’t want them. Always give a very big smile. Always make a good impression about teachers to follow this tip. This one is really funny. I did it. I admit. Be good with your teachers even if you don’t want them. Be good with them even if you want to kill them, flush them in the toilet, make them a half-rotten meat or throw them into the river for being so strict about what you are doing (Isn’t it nice? Haha…It’s gross). Just be good with them. Your HIGH grades are at their hands. Sometimes, be a tupperware (Or be a plastic!). Inside the school, your attitudes dictate your grades. If you possess a character that your teacher doesn’t want, change it. Show him or her that you are changing and you will be liked. Good grades will follow. Am I so bad? I think not. It is just the reality.

2) Be a good follower of your teachers. Darling, this one is so true. To have the grades that you should have to become an honor student, you should obey your teachers. When your teacher asks you to do anything, obey him or her without any sign of hesitation. Obey your teacher with your eye twinkling like the stars and always wear a very big smile. Haha! This step is really effective. Yes, sometimes it is difficult to follow because they will always ask you something to do even if academically not related with your grades. They will always look for you because they know that you will follow them truthfully, honestly and happily. C’mon, darling. Your labor will never be in vain. At the end, you will get high grades. Sometimes, being a “katulong or alalay type” of student can help you on the way.

3) Always present yourself at any school activities. Hmm! If you want extra credits, why don’t you join those school activities, clubs and organizations? That one is so effective. Even if you don’t have the guts to be a leader or just a follower, JUST PRETEND YOU HAVE. Haha! Extra points will be given to you at the end of the school year. You will have the grades that you are not expecting. C’mon! You are not after the popularity from the students or from the teachers; you are after for your high grades. So, what are you waiting for? Stand up, get out from the couch that you are sitting and look for the nearest registration outlet.

4) Put a little creativity on your projects. This is true. Put a little, just a little creativity on your projects. Put a little color. Spend money to design your projects. This can give you more points. Why? For example, your project doesn’t have any content or a failing grade is not enough for it. Your teacher will think, “Ipasa ko na nga toh, may effort naman sa design, eh.” (I think I will pass this kid, there’s an A for the effort to design.) See! Extra credit again.

These steps are just some that I did to become an honor student at my high school life. Sometimes, it is so hard to follow these tips because you may think, “Am I really getting some credits from what I am doing?”. C’mon, if you really want to become an honor student, well then, do everything, even pretending to be good when you\re really not. It is just the matter of choice. You will benefit from it, promise!

Guys, don’t misinterpret me. I love my teachers. I expressed to them the sweetest words that my whole being could express. I respected them, I’m loyal to them, I obeyed. Now, I am giving the greatest gratitude to them. I know that I can see higher because I am standing at the shoulders of the giants that taught me to be responsible, competent and transformational member of the society.

At high school, maybe it was 70-30. Bigger percent that I showed at high school was true, the truest of me. The smaller percent was just a big pretending. These steps were really effective. You know, the best step is, “Get your butt off the bed and study your lessons!” Study, study, study. Follow these steps or not, it’s just the matter of your choice.

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Think first before reacting on this note. First of all, the title of this note is, “Ways on How To Become an Honor Student, The Twisted Way!”. The Twisted Way! That is actually the style of my creative writing. In my notes, I express there the pumping irony of life (ang kabalintunan ng buhay), the unrealistic part of life that can be realistic, the impossible that can be possible. I love creating essays about the irony of life because you can get the humor by exaggerating them, so it is funny! In this note, I explained the irony of life of an ordinary student who wants to be one of the honors. In my note, I am not dwelling with just my life; I am dwelling with it generally. These steps are sometimes the strategies of most students (not actually just myself). What I am telling here is that, good character is actually the primary basis of the good grades, academic aspect is just secondary. In my note, I am just having it so exaggerated to say that you have to be a plastic to be liked by most, that is why it’s the PUMPING IRONY OF LIFE. That is my style of writing. EXPLAINING THE IRONY AND HYPERBOLE OF LIFE. The reality of life.

(Date Written : August 01, 2010)

“MY BOYFRIENDS”

  1. Jaymart Baltazar                 —->  Mr. No Way
  2. John Paolo Bernardo           —->  The Cute Manace
  3. Joshua Canlas                     —->  The Essayist
  4. Reyamrt Castro                   —->  Mr. Killer Smile
  5. Anthony Bryan Cristobal     —->  The Guy of Under Construction
  6. Draiane del Rosario             —->  The Unknown Specie
  7. Paolo Mendoza                    —->  The Big Boss
  8. Adrian Joseph Tan              —->  Mr. Flirt Image
  9. Emmanuel Ibana                 —->  Master of All Performing Arts
  10. Charles Adrian dela Rosa   —->  Short-Tempered Man (Si Ama)
  11. Rallin Geronimo                   —->  Mr. Class Bunker
  12. Renz Cedrick Santiago        —->  The Unwanted Maniac
  13. Michael Adrian Talens         —->  Mr.  Cutter
  14. Patrick Villanueva                —->  Master of All Bullies
  15. Paolo Santos                       —->  Silent Killer
  16. Robb Sernan Retardo         —->  Geek but Freak
  17. Dustin Sulat                         —->  The Smart One
  18. Francis Abaday                    —->  The Husky Man
  19. Haries Hilario                        —->  The Bomb
  20. Glenn Mar Castro                 —->  Mr. Eyebrows
  21. Jorrald Catahan                   —->  The Attention Seeker

“My Girlfriends”

  1. Kiana Mae Encila                 —->  The Undescribable
  2. Jasmine Arididon                 —->  Student Advisory
  3. Orchel Dizon                        —->  The Songbird
  4. Baby Ann Marquez              —->  The Dancer
  5. Iris Genesis Navarro            —->  Ms. Conscience
  6. Ailene Morante                    —->  Undeniably Happy
  7. Lynette Chaneco                 —->  The Warfreak
  8. Kimberly Mae Reyes            —->  The Artist
  9. Michaela Joyce Mendoza     —->  Ms. Go With The Flow
  10. Geraldine Sanchez               —->  The Rapunzel of the Gang
  11. Junica Solano                       —->  Ms. Red Lipstick
  12. Joylyn Coronel                     —->  The Giver and Given

(to be continued…explanation for each)

(This post is dedicated to my Fourth Year high school classmates, Batch 2011)

This is so cool. My legs are shaking. My head is terribly aching. I’m falling to my unconsciousness and I can’t help it. It’s too weird for a teenager like me to conquer the everyday of my life even if I am only having a 5 hour sleep each night and I don’t have the chance to sleep at day because I am so busy doing many school stuffs. It is so cool that I am here, in front of the computer and blogging again. Haha!

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I should save this as a draft, it’s actually not yet done.

haha!

How do you solve a problem like the Jejemons?
‘A lot of people think jejemon talk is cute. But its successful transmission can be attributed to the fact that idiocy, if wrapped in cuteness, can appear desirable… to other idiots’

By RONALD S. LIM
April 27, 2010, 12:31pm

By MB Graphics
What the heck are jejemons?

That has been the question on everybody’s mind ever since a picture of presidential aspirant Gilbert Teodoro holding a sign declaring that he would send all jejemons back to elementary school started circulating on Facebook, Twitter, and Tumblr.

The curious have usually been directed to Urban Dictionary, the open source website that provides definitions for popular culture terms. Jejemons are defined as “individuals with low IQs who spread around their idiocy on the web by tYpFing LyK diZS jejejeje.”

To make it more graphic, here is Urban Dictionary’s example:

miSzMaldiTahh111: EoW pFuOh!

You: Huh?

miszMaldiTahh111: i LLyK tO knOw moR3 bOut u, PwfoH. crE 2 t3ll mE yur N@me? jejejejeje!

You: You are a jejemon! Don’t talk to me!

miszMaldiTahh111: T_T

But even before making its debut on Urban Dictionary, the word “jejemon’’ has been making sporadic appearances elsewhere on the web. On Pinoy Tumblr, for instance, “jejemon” appeared on a post made on April 14 about vice-presidential candidate Jejomar Binay — complete with a fake campaign poster calling him “Jejemon Binay”.

It makes an even earlier appearance on the My Ragnarok Online Forum. In a post that went up on March 14 entitled “Jejemon ka ba?”, user Deviluke points out that most jejemon wear baggy clothes and sport jejecaps – rainbow caps usually worn backwards and just placed on top of one’s head.

Artuji.com points out that “jeje” enjoys popular usage among Spanish-speaking countries as a word to denote laughter. “Jejemon” sprung from its combination with the subculture spawned by popular Asian anime, “Pokemon”.

NEW POP PHENOMENON

Whatever its origins, the word is now a pop culture phenomenon, spawning numerous groups that are for or against it on Facebook. The biggest anti-jejemon group, Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon has more than 88,000 members, while jEjEmon uNite has less than 500 members.

Administrators and members of Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon seem to agree that the term “jejemon” was first coined a month ago, but the behavior attributed to jejemon was around for much longer.

“This kind of typing started when text messaging became famous and they used it to shorten long text messages,” says Kahel, one of the administrators of Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon.

“I first encountered them in high school. Mobile messaging was the newest and hottest technological trend then,” says 24-year-old quality analyst Aldrin Fauni-Tanos. “Like dinosaurs, their existence preceded their discovery and categorization.”

MAJOR IRRITANT

The initial reaction to jejemon talk was the same across the board – irritation and bewilderment.

“I am shocked that they text like that because I really can’t understand the messages. I just had to accept the fact that some people have ‘skills’ to make language oh so despicable,” recalls 19-year-old Nheigeio Balatbat, also an administrator of Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon.

But how does one exactly become a jejemon?

It starts with the slippery slope of text messaging.

Fourteen-year-old Zee Puerto is an incoming high school student and is also an administrator of Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon. Unlike the other administrators, Puerto has a much more intimate connection with the jejemons that the group is so vehemently against.

“I was one of them way back. Texting was one of the most important media that made an impact on jejemons. When my friends started to text like that, they also influenced me. I started typing like them, like using ‘x’ instead of ‘s’,” he admits. “But when they started to use extra letters it began to annoy me.”

For others, it is just a style, comparing it to “leet speak”, a globally accepted form of writing that is used by the intellectual geek community.

“Style lang, parang sa Jose, ‘H’ ‘yung pagbasa sa ‘J’. Parang leet speak. Ewan ko kung bakit ngayon lang lumabas ang mga haters,” explains 14-year-old student Jella Mella, who texts like a jejemon but refuses to be called one. “Bigay lang ng mga haters ang pangalan na jejemon kasi ‘jeje’ ang tawa namin.”

These jejemons, according to Fauni-Tanos, have nobody to blame but themselves. “A jejemon has no one else to blame but himself,” he says. “A lot of people think it is cute. Its successful transmission can be attributed to the fact that idiocy if wrapped in cuteness can appear desirable…to other idiots.’’

SPELLING NAZIS

Since bursting into the public consciousness, hate has been something that jejemons are likely to encounter, online or off the Internet. Mella says that her Facebook wall has encountered its own share of haters who have wished for her death.

“‘Bumalik ka na sa planeta niyo, p*******a mong jejemon ka, bakit hindi ka pa mamatay.’ May nag-post niyan dati sa wall ko,” she shares. “Wala naman kaming ginagawang masama sa kanila. Hindi nila kami kilala, bakit nila kami i-jujudge?”

The excessive amount of vitriol directed at the jejemons has gotten the attention of some celebrities, who decry the hate being directed towards the group. Musician Rico Blanco, for instance, has called for calm on his Twitter account.

“Easy lang friends, di naman naba-badtrip sa inyo mga jejemon pag-umo OMG at lumulurkey kayo. Walang pakialamanan ng trip,” he states on a tweet posted on April 23.

Actress Alessandra de Rossi and broadcaster Ces Drilon have also condemned the wholesale ridicule that the group has received.

Even the administrators of the Gotta Kill ‘Em All, Jejemon fan page have begun to realize that the energy directed towards embarrassing and humiliating jejemon could be better directed towards more constructive activities.

“I think the hate was overreaction,” says Balatbat. “I know of people who join jejemon hate groups just so they can kill time insulting people, but some of the insults and curses cross the line. These people are humans too. So to protect their rights, I and my fellow administrators have decided to have censorship rules on our fan page.’’

“Annoyance is natural and expected, but I think hating them is an overreaction. There will always be people who will offend you or annoy you for the things that they do,” agrees Fauni-Tanos. “The question is: are they doing this to directly annoy you or is it simply because they do not know any better? I have a feeling that the majority of jejemons simply do not know that ‘jejenese’ is a poor reflection of their intelligence.”

SHOULD DEPED BE ALARMED?

Should English teachers and the Department of Education be concerned about the popularity of jejemons? The online consensus seems to think that they should be.

“Once you become used to a certain way of life, you’ll adapt it unconsciously. I’ve seen a valedictorian use jejetyping and I was disappointed with the grammar in her Friendster account,” says Balatbat.

“The problem is that most people lack the will to ‘upgrade’ their own intelligences. Many Filipinos are fine with mediocrity: having enough of this and that, having enough school and education to survive,” adds Fauni-Tanos. “Not too many people want to know more. Thus, most are fine with substandard language as long as it can be understood.”

Most agree that simply making jejemons aware of their actions will be enough to put them off.

“Jejemons and jejemon-friends need to be informed that their language is more of a barrier than a medium. It takes too much effort to read, and I doubt if it is actually easier to compose than a phrase in standard Filipino or English,” explains Fauni-Tanos.

And for the most part, it seems to be working. Mella has this to say about how all the attention directed towards jejemons has affected the way she communicates:

“Ayaw ko na minumura ako ng mga tao kaya pinipigilan ko na magsulat ng jeje.”

Once there was a boy, he was sad but not mad. He went to 2 kinds of beaches but he wanted to go to the beach that’s all decorated with lights but he had to stay home because he was sick. So that’s why the boy was sad but not mad. THE END
By: Byron Plamenco 6 y/o
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This was told by a 6 y/o and it was so amazing that at his young age, he’s able to express himself. Well, I’m his cousin and I’m proud of it!

Kailan pa nagkaroon ng Kwenta ang Blog na Walang Kwenta?

Hehehe! Kailan pa nagkaroon ng kwenta ang blog na wala naman talagang kwenta? Ito ba ay noong tinanggalan ito ng kwenta o ‘di naman kaya’y binigyan ito ng walang kakwentahan. Ang gulo hano, naka-dudugo ng brain. May brain ba ako? Naku, lalo pang nakagulo.

Ako nga pala si Joshua na ang first name ay Joshua at ang last name ay Canlas, for short Joshua Canlas. Ano ba ang nasa name ko? Aba’y hindi ko alam, all I know is mula pa ng since birth ko e nandito na ako kasama ng name ko. Basta, pinapagulo ko lang buhay niyo e. Do you like to read more? Hope you will!

What if? What if lang ha. What if eh lumabas ako sa harap mo at this very moment.

Tapos, bigla kong sabihin sa’yo na. “May mamamatay, buwahahaha!” Hinde, biro lang, takot ka noh. Ang sasabihin ko talaga kung saka-sakali na makita mo ko e, “Ay! ba’t ako nandito? BYEH, balik na ako sa computer, sige, tuloy mo lang ang basa mo. Bye..h!” Hehe! yun nga ang sasabihin ko sa’yo, bye na. Continue reading lang ha..!

P.S.: Sana’y huwag kang ma-disappoint sa pst ko na ito na puno ng kacornyhan! Trial lang baga!
haha!