Posts Tagged ‘drama’

“Trapped”
(January 18, 2013)

I’m afraid of everything
Everything that is so true
So serene, so calm, secrets
Truest of me? It’s unreal!

Thoughts are floating in the air
Feelings are hidden deeply
Actions, they’re always controlled
Limited! Chained by motions.

You’re talking, words just fall down
Just as the air, you’re moving
You’re felt, yet nobody cares
Desperate sounds, no one hears.

Here we are, hear the unvoiced
Young people under pressure
Oh, listen! We are lighted
Yet darkness is upon us.

Darkness, gloom, chaos, free us
Our hearts, broken and shackled
Sep’rated from the real world
Lives with unclear purposes.

Pretension! Life’s a big stage
We laugh, we cry, we get mad
Battling everyone for fame
Competing for attention.

A life cycle of drama
It’s time, we need to end this
Compassion, rise up, be freed
Save the earth, rescue yourself.

Yes! We’re trapped to prepare us
For a fight, yet to unfold
We’re trapped by wrong emotions
Trapped by unsettled motives.

O, my friend! Be freed, be freed.

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I’m still working on. I’m not yet so good on writing poems but I’m still working on it. You know, the old saying goes like, “Practice makes perfect.” I’m now interested on it. It’s something different. So, here is my second one. I hope it would sound a lot better and more dramatic than the first one. I love to hear your comments. Criticize it, please!

“Your Present Situation”

Hey! I have something to tell. There’s a letter from your friend and you need to know it.

I know almost all of the things about you and those things that surround you. I know those times when you were sad, mad, happy, hesitating, tired or anything. I know the time when you needed someone to talk with or to lean on. That’s why I am here with you. I can be that friend that you are looking for.

When you are with your family, what do you feel? Are you happy with them or not? Maybe you’re sad, really sad. Maybe you belong to a broken family, that’s why. Maybe the love you are getting from them is not sufficient. ” Palibhasa’y napakaraming mag-asawa ngayon ang naghihiwalay.” Many youths are growing in this society with a single parent only and that is a very difficult situation.

How about the way of discipline from your parents? Can that affect your emotions of attitudes? ” Masyado ba silang mahigpit o ‘di nama’y maluwag?” Are you experiencing emotional, physical, or mental abuse from them? Do you ever feel inferior? Do you feel that they treat you as their child or just like any other kids in town? Maybe they are just thinking that you need money and you’re okay, another difficult situation. ” May pera ka nga, but you’re still broken.” Too many questions, ha? These questions can help you think about your present condition in life. I want you to cry.

How about, hmm? Why don’t you check yourself? Is it okay that you are always alone? I know many teenagers that they look at themselves as no one, no identity—that they are not happy, that they are already content with what they have or what they do, that they think that they’re okay when they are really not. And these are the reasons why they put their attentions on these things—computer, cellphone, iPod, and other gadgets that they think can fill up their brokenness and loneliness in life. You know, it is really hard to look a friend that you can trust about your secrets and brokenness. Also, it is not that easy to find an opportunity to talk with your parents maybe because they are just too busy about their jobs. This letter can help you realize that you are not alone.

Many youths today are directly hurting or abusing themselves in able to express the thing that is inside of them. They cut, bite, or burn their own body, I hope you will not do those things. Don’t ever do it unless you want your life to be ruined. If you do those things, you are already testifying that you feel nothing or no one. We have our own purposes to do.

Remember, there will always be some circumstances that you will feel inferior, lonely or broken. Well, you still need to force yourself to be happy in order to lessen your sadness. Express yourself in as good manner and understand the situation of your parents.

Bare in mind, you are not the only person in the world who’s experiencing those things, ” Marami tayo.”

PROBLEMS—they are allowed by Jesus Christ to happen to prove our trust or faith in Him.

There was a moment in my life when I was alone in the house and I was staying inside my room. I was doing nothing, just staring at the ceiling because I was at my bed at that time, suddenly, the tears dropped down from my eyes. I was surprised. I felt that there was something inside of me that wants to explode. It was like…I just really wanted to cry.

Maybe I was crying because there were just too many things that I was thinking of. Past life, experiences, struggles, etch. Well, I’ve got no one to talk with.

Could you be my friend? Could you be that somebody that I could lean on? I’m hoping for that.

” You are too weak for it!
You don’t have the guts to pursue your dreams.
He will definitely not make it, trust me! ”

These are just some of the words that create pressure inside of me. Anytime, it could explode and as expected, it happened. I created a mess. I got mad, angry at the spur of the moment. That thing put a heavy weight on my shoulders. That pressure inside of me created anger and defeated me. I cried hard because of that. I told about this thing to a person that I trust the most.

=+=: Go on, cry. I will let you cry.
+=+: This must not happen. I shouldn’t let this to happen.
=+=: There’s nothing wrong about what you have done. Remember, we are not perfect or good enough to stop our
anger. Even the Lord got mad for once, says in the bible. But the good thing here is, at least you tried to stop
your anger.
+=+: Thank you so much. I feel better now.

It is my weakness when I get mad. There was again a moment in my life when I was inside of my room and of course, being a drama actor again. There was a voice inside my head and said,” Why don’t you try to cut your pulse? Just one time only. ‘Bakit si *** nagawa iyon’ and nothing happened to her. Go on, try it. You will not die with just one slash.” And it happened, I bought a blade at the store near our house, got back inside my room and prepared myself in cutting my pulse. I did it. As I were looking at my bleeding wrist, I felt like along with it was my problem pouring out of my body. I felt like I was really happy in doing that thing. I just don’t know why I allowed that to happen.

There were so many things that I realized because of what happened. You cannot live in a place by just being alone or isolating yourself from others. Look for a friend, the real one. How foolish am I? The friends that I was looking for were already there, waiting for me to approach them. I was just the one who’s hiding. Maybe I’m nowhere right now if I didn’t find them.

Anger is not a bad thing. Being angry is also not bad. That is a natural sensation. The bad thing here is when we do not know how to control or place our anger. The worst will surely follow and we can get our life a big mess. I just have a message for all those people who are in the same situation. Oh please! Do not be a big —— like me, do not be a big fool. Find someone to talk with about something. You know, I really get emotional when it comes about my life. Behind this happy face is another face of mine, meet SADNESS.

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This is not a real story.
I just created it from the experiences of my friends.
I’m happy with my life.
A close friend of mine read it and said,
” Creepy! Don’t ever do it for any reason.”
I just smiled at her.

“This Is How I Overcome”

Pambihira! It is really hard to play this game we call LIFE. There are just too many stuffs to comply. Many problems but few are solutions.

It is really difficult to communicate with other people especially with those you don’t know the most. What if you told a secret to a person that you thought you can trust the most? A secret about your biggest crush, most embarrassing moment and other things that you don’t want to know by any other people. It means that you are putting a big percent of your trust to that person. Now, this is the question,”What if at the moment that person moved behind you and walking far away from you, you will just suddenly know,’alam na pala ng buong kapaligiran ang sekreto mo’, what are you going to do? Baka mamura mo ako or worse. You know, this situation had already happened to me. From that stage of my life, I learned that you must not put your trust to a person fully. You must know that person very well before putting your trust to him or her. At that, I did nothing because it was too late. It caused me heartaches.

It is also hard to love somebody truly and wholly. Paano ko naman nasabi iyon? Of course, I experienced it. There’s a moment in my life that I loved somebody so much. So much that I already gave my everything, but from her, I got nothing. I did everything to make her mine. I visited her when she needed somebody to talk with, helped her in her studies, made her laugh. In return, I got nothing. Pinagmukha niya akong TANGA.

Because of that experiences in my life about love, I’ve decided,”Tama na, tigilan ko na toh, this might be the end, I will just put my attentions on my studies. I will get nothing if I continue this fantasy.” What do you think? Is that good or not? Kasi, it is better for the both of us if I will focus on my studies and leave this kind of love second in line.

“Ways on how to kill yourself!” Nyek! Gulat ka, hano? You’re not expecting that one to be in here, right? Okay, this is the real thing. It is really hard to die, die from being a KRISTIYANO. On what way of dying? The dying of the fire of the Lord in our hearts. It is difficult to be back again in the heart of worship. But by the Grace of God, we are still here, walking along the path that He told us to.

I am really sad with this happy life. Hu? There are many troubles and challenges in life that we need to conquer that help us to stand firm in able for us to play this game we call LIFE. Basta, set your goals and you’ll surely be successful in your own ways.

It’s good to know that other people can realize things you are doing for them. Even if sometimes, dealing with the situation is very difficult or brain-busting. It is also good to know when your sacrifices are not worthless and they are for the greater good. I hate it because I am having so much drama right now(that is not my style in writing!) .  I love to work especially when it is appreciated.

This day,  March 15, 2011, I did a very tiring job and I still need to do it until tomorrow.  I need to teach 4 sections ( 4 classrooms) in our school for their speech choir.  It is actually not my job but I need to do it because of the situation.  Our English teachers were not there because they were busier than me (they were in a very important meeting) . I am exhausted because I am handling 4 sections, I cannot teach them at the same time that’s why I need to transfer from one room to another.  After I teach one stanza for this section, I will go on the other section.  So tiring.  I am not reclamizing (reclamizing? Is that complaining?  Oh yes!) .  I am not complaining, I am just telling you what I feel right now.  I’m tired, sleepy, my head is aching, I’m exhausted.  I am just not in the mood.  Hayz!  Oh, I remember, if you are doing something for others and it is totally voluntary, don’t complain about it.  You accepted it and did it, you know that there’s something in return.  You don’t know specifically what is that thing but you definitely know there is.  It is not actually about the THING itself, but the thing outside it.  Why does that person gave you that thing?  Because you are appreciated, that’ s it.  No matter how big or small the thing that person gave to you, the point is, you are appreciated.  (more thing, thing, thing!  Does it matter?  I don’t know!)

Maybe, I still need to do those things because I am the president of our English Club (does it matter? I don’t know!) .  Even though, I can’t stand it.  No!  I mean. I can stand it because I am still here, in front of my computer and expressing my thoughts (duh!) .  Does it really matter?  I don’t know and I actually don’t care.  Good thing that I am just so happy with my life.  I am gaining the kind of respect that I deserve (i guess…).  THIS IS GOTTA BE A GOOD LIFE!

I feel so sorry when I wrote this one. It is all about hatred. I should not have wrote this. But then, I just want to express my feelings and get this hatred out of my heart. I’m okay now, I feel better, I hope. Reminder: Don’t be reacting so much when reading this. I will put it to trash if so!

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“THE ONE THAT I’M NOT”

(Date written: Feb. O8. 2011)

Yesterday, Feb. 07, 2011, somebody gave me those very inspiring and uplifting words (so ironic!). That person said that I was more than that she expected. Kesyo, ako raw ang worst sa magkakapatid. Ako raw yung laging laman ng church pero nakapasuwail naman sa bahay. Napaka-dominating ko raw. Di ko raw katulad yung mga nakatatanda kong kapatid (well, don’t ever compare me, darling). Ako raw talaga yung worst. Sa susunod daw na bastusin ko siya (even if I did not), pakakainin daw niya ako ng kanyang kamao. Super sumbat din siya sa mga nagawa raw niya sa akin. Kapag daw nagkatrabaho ako, baka raw lalo ko silang pagmalakihan ( I will not). Pinupuri raw ako sa loob ng church at school pero sa bahay, I’m just the worst child. Another person was there also and super sulsol naman siya sa taong nanenermon sa’kin (lintik yan!). I hate being here, but I definitely love being my self. I want to get out of this world that Ive stucked of. I hope I can tell this to them, “Ni minsan ba, did you ever ask me kung bakit ako nagkakaganito? Ever since, you haven’t.” Di ko naman masabi kasi pinandidilatan lang naman niya ako ng mata at dinuduro pa ako, “Walanghiya ka, ANAK LANG KITA, gumaganyan ka. Pa’no pa kaya kung pinapakain mo kami? Walanghiya ka! PALAMUNIN LANG KITA…” Second the motion naman ang other person doon, “Ganyan naman talaga yan, eh!” Di na lang nila sinabi na PLASTIK NA DEMONYO ako (buisit yan!) Nakapag-formulate tuloy ako ng equation,

J=(W1+W2+…Wnth)nth(D1+D2+…Dnth)nth
(P1+P2+…Pnth)nth

Where J is for Jocaz, W is Walanghiya, D is Demonyo ang P is Palamunin. Puro yan ang naririnig ko sa kanila, eh (unlimited, kumbaga!). Ang saya talaga, hano?! Take note, wala silang naririnig sakin habang sinesermunan nila ako. Ni ha, ni ho, wala! (buisit yan! Nasisira buhay ko sa bahay na ito! Lintik yan!). Ito pa, may mga college students sa tapat ng bahay namin na nakatambay at alam ko at paniguradong naririnig nila ang very encouraging and uplifting words of wisdom na iniaalay lamang sakin. Owh! I remember, may nakatatanda daw na nagpapasabi na habang maaga pa daw ay putulin na dapat ang sungay ko. Sa ginagawa nila, di siguro nila naiisip na baka mas lalo pang humaba pag pinagpatuloy nila iyon. (F**k them!). Very annoying, very distracting. Ang lakas makapanira ng araw tuwing naaalala ko yung nangyaring panenermon. So far, magdadalawang oras na ang wlaang habas na pagmumura at panenermon nila sakin. I cannot stand with it anymore! Tinalikuran ko sila without any facial expression and any sound na nagdadabog and went outside the house para kalmahin ang aking damdamin (parang robot nga ako, eh!). I think that will make things better.

I really love being myself and I hate being at house. Actually, I don’t feel anything anymore. Should I say, manhid na ako!” Labas pasok na lang sa mga tenga ko ang panenermon nila, eh!

“MESSAGE FOR THEM: HUWAG NA NILA AKONG PINUPURI SA HARAP NG IBANG TAO KUNG HINDI NAMAN BUKAL SA PUSO. KAPAG WALA NA YUNG MGA TAO, KUNG ANU-ANONG MASASAKIT NA SALITA ANG SINASABI NILA SAKIN, EH. I HAVE MY OWN IDENTITY, I’M UNIQUE. DON’T COMPARE ME WITH OTHERS. THAT’S ALL!”

“……………..maybe I am really bad, but I can change it kung makikita lang nila ang mga magaganda sakin na maaaring natatabunan lang ng masama……………………….”

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(Date written: July 17, 2011)

Thank God, I’ve changed already. I forgave them already and I have been forgiven. Thank you Jesus Christ. This moment, I read it again and felt ashamed at the same time happy. Because I know that I’ve changed and I will never be back to the way I used to be. Sabi ko nga sa mga kabataan na namemeet ko at nakaka-usap, “Let us go the past. Let us shake off the baggage. We will never be forgiven unless we forgive ourselves, accept that we’ve sinned, confess our sins and get up and start moving.” For a youth like us, maybe we are presently undergoing to a very difficult situation that may seem not to have any solution. It will come to a point that we are going to ask God the “why questions”. Lord, “Bakit naman ako pa? Bakit sa’kin mo ibinigay ang ganito kalaking problema? Not me, Lord. NOT ME!” Instead of aking the “why questions”, why don’t we just kneel on a prayer and throw at God the question that can immediately have answers. “Lord, what is your purpose in giving me this problem or letting this to happen? Tell me, Jesus. Tell me what is the right thing to do to glorify your name.” Maybe those questions are better. Ask God what to do, get up and start moving.

Remember. Let go of the past, Shake off the baggage and Get up and start moving.

God Bless us all.