“The Sensibility” (Updated)

Posted: January 9, 2013 in My First Trials, Twisted!
Tags: , , , , ,

Naah!  What does it look like if I would write a poem?  How will people react?  I’m not good at writing poems.  I only write essays and short stories.  Other than those, none.  But then I have to.  Our teacher in Literary Criticism told us to submit our own poems then we’ll criticize them.  Oh boy!  What will I write?  Actually, I’ve already written one and I hope it would sound good.  I have no idea about it.  I hope it looks like a real poem, or not!  (I know, it’s amateur) Naah!  I don’t care.  At least I would submit something.  So here it goes.  I want you, guys, to be the first one to read and criticize.  Leave your comments and suggestions below.  PLEASE!  I would be needing them.

——————–

“THE SENSIBILITY”
(August 18, 2011)

Imagination
Fill with emotion
Full of action
And desperation

So classic
Stylistic
Fantastic
Magnific

Too much drama
Just count the babba
To skip reality
Sleep tightly

Sense the ironic
Situation
Life with ballistic
Perception

Imagination
Your own habitation
World defined your own
So alone…

——————

There you have it. My first poem ever. I hope it would not be the last. Does it make sense? You know, your sensibility. Does it have any message? I would love to hear your comments and suggestions. They would really help. Just leave them below. Chow.
(The idea and the background behind the poem, to follow…)

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Comments
  1. suri says:

    This is really nice! (not that I am an expert poet or something, but I can feel it)
    One small sugestion would be to take away the “…” It becomes more dramatic without them. If you want to keep some it would be nice at the end “so alone…”
    Just my five cents.
    🙂
    Cheers!

  2. Haha! Five cents…
    Thanks for that suggestion. Now, I’ll do it cause I realized that it does look good without it, “…”
    Thanks!

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