Archive for June, 2012

“Christian Brothers” by Heather Arnel Paulsen

(An Excerpt from her book Emotional Purity; chapter 15, Dating Done Differently, pg. 130)

Paul wrote some wonderful advice to Timothy (a young man) on how to treat younger women—“like sisters, in all purity” (1 Timothy 5:2). The Greek word translated “all” is pas, meaning all things individually and in their totality. A man must treat a younger woman like a sister and “in all purity”. How does a brother treat his sister? I do not have any brothers, but I know that in all family situations brothers and sisters do not pay attention to one over the other, communicating feelings of “you’re special,” nor do they step over the lines of physical intimacy. They also generally have no hidden agendas; where they stand with each other is clear. Do brothers and sisters know one another? Yes. Do they care for one another? Yes. So what is Paul talking about? Paul stated that all women with whom a man comes in contact must be treated with “all purity”. Only God can give the green light to take the relationship to another level of intimacy. And when God gives the green light, purity remains in its proper place.

(You can read chapter 1 of the book for this part)

Some of you may say Mike treated Tracy as a sister, but did he really? He set her apart, made her feel special, and without even knowing it took over her thought life. IN A PHYSICAL SENSE HE DID TREAT HER PURELY, BUT WHAT ABOUT HER EMOTIONS? He was not up-front with his intentions. If he had been, she might not have become so taken with him. Now Tracy allowed herself to become worked up with Mike, so we cannot put all the blame on him. She could have ask him to define their friendship. They had CLOSENESS but no COMMITMENT. He was taking away emotions that should have been saved for her husband.

Since the husband is the head of the wife, he is responsible for sticking his neck out and being held accountable. When an unmarried man sticks his neck out with a young lady, he is preparing himself for the role God has assigned to him IN MARRIAGE. Christ put His life on the line, with no guarantee that we would respond. What a great life lesson men can learn in taking the initiative in relationships.

My Manifesto with God

I, undersigned, commit before Jesus, my Lord and Savior, before man and my peers and my church mates, that I will withhold myself from entering into a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship for one (1) year because I would like to give my undivided attention to loving and serving God. This means that;

1. I will abstain from courtship and dating.
2. I will abstain from sexual intercourse, petting, necking, kissing (on the lips), and any indiscreet contact with any person.

I believe that as a Christian and as a child of God, I want to serve Him and sanctify my body, soul, and spirit for the glory of God.

Signed this _________ day of ______________, ________ at _____________________________________. This MANIFESTO is effective until _______________________, _______.

_______________________
Signature
Over Printed Name

Person/s I’m accountable to;

_______________________
Youth Leader/Ministry Head

_______________________
Best friend/Prayer Partner

FOR GIRLS:

“Modesty Heart Check” by Carolyn Manahey
(Excerpt from the book Worldliness by C.J. Manahey)

“WOMEN SHOULD ADORN themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.” ( 1 Timothy 2:9-10)

In His Word, God commands us to pursue the beauty of modesty and self-control both in our hearts and in our dress. If we earnestly apply His Word to our hearts, it will be displayed by what we wear.

When it comes to selecting clothes to buy and wear, however, we can often feel lost and confused. Which items are seductive and immodest and which display a heart of modesty and self-control?

To assist you in assisting a modest heart and maintaining a modest wardrobe, we humbly offer this Modesty Heart Check for your consideration. We don’t intend these questions to be a list of rules or consider them to be a definitive guide to modest dress. The Modesty Heart Check is a tool, to be used in the context of biblical teaching on modesty, and never an isolation from God’s Word.

May these questions assist you as you seek to display the modest beauty of godly womanhood.

START WITH A HEART CHECK

“How does a woman discern the sometimes fine line between proper dress and dressing to be the center of attention? The answer starts in the intent of the heart. A woman should examine her motives and goals for the way she dresses. Is her intent to show the grace and beauty of womanhood?…Is it to to reveal a humble devoted to worshipping God? Or is it to call attentio to herself, and flaunt her…beauty? Or worse, to attempt to allure men sexually? A woman who focuses on worshipping God will consider carefully how she is dressed, because her heart will dictate her wardrobe and appearance.”

* What statement do my clothes make about my heart?
* In choosing what clothes to wear today, whose attention do I desire and whose approval do I crave? Am I seeking to please God or impress others?
* Is what I wear consistent with biblical values of modesty, self-control and respectable apparel, or does my dress reveal an inordinate identification and fascination with sinful cultural values?
* Who am I trying to identify with through my dress? Is it my standard the Word of God or is it the latest fashion?
* Have I asked other godly individuals to evaluate my wardrobe?
* Does my clothing reveal an allegiance to the Gospel, or is there any contradiction between my profession of faith and my practice of godliness? Before you leave the house, do a Modesty Check. What are some things you should look for as you stand in front of your mirror?

FROM THE TOP

* When I am wearing a loose-fitting blouse or scoop neck, can I see anything when I lean over? If so, I need to remember to place my hand against my neckline when I bend down.
* Does this button-down top cause gaping holes that expose my chest? I need to turn sideways and move around to see. If there are revealing gaps, I’ve got to grab the sewing box and pin between the buttons.
* What about this sleeve0less shirt? When I move around, can I see my bra? If I can, I need the pins again.
* Am I wearing a spaghetti-strap, halter or sheer blouse? Not even pins will fix this problem! Most guys find it a hindrance in their struggle with lust. It’s time to go back to the closet.
* Can I see the lace or seam of my bra through my shirt? In this case, seamless bras are a better option.
* Does my shirt reveal any part of my cleavage? Does my midriff show when I raise my hands above my head? Is my shirt just plain too tight? If the answer to any one of these questions is yes, then I need to change my outfit.

MOVING ON DOWN

* Does my midriff (or underwear) show when I bend over or lift my hands? If so, is it because my skirt or my pants are too low? Either my shirt needs to be longer or I need to find a skirt or pants that sit higher.
* Is what I’m wearing too tight around my backside, or does the outline of my underwear show? (You’ll have to turn around to get a look here.) If so, I know what I have to do!
* Does this short reveal too much when I sit down? To see how much of my leg is exposed, I can’t just check them standing up. If I see too much leg, I need a longer pair.
* Does this skirt or dress pass the sit-down check? I must remember to keep my skirt pulled down and my knees together when I’m seated.
* Does the slit in this skirt reveal too much when I walk? If so, pins are also helpful here.
* Does my skirt pass the sunlight check? Is it see-through? If so, I need a slip.
* What do these high heels do to the length of my skirt? I must remeber to do this modesty check with my shoes on. Heels may make my dress or skirt appear shorter.

And don’t forget, the modesty check applies to formal wear as well. A note on swimwear: It’s not easy, but you can still strive to be modest at the pool or beach. Look for one-piece bathing suits that aren’t cut high on the leg and don’t have low necklines.

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For Boys? Just Wait! Coming Soon. Haha!